Thoughts on Random Stuff 6

For the first time in a month, I have finished reading a book.

The bad news is, I still need to finish reading 37 books with only 88 days left to go before the end of the year.

That is some crazy stuff to read, I must say.

On the other hand, I am still very much aware that I need to be able to read more if I want to write better, because as Stephen King says:

“If you don’t have time to read, you don’t have the time (or the tools) to write. Simple as that.”

Why is that so? Here’s another quote that summarizes everything:

“Good description is a learned skill, one of the prime reasons why you cannot succeed unless you read a lot and write a lot. It’s not just a question of how-to, you see: It is also a question of how much to. Reading will help you answer how much and only reams of writing will help you with the how. You can learn only by doing.”

So yeah, that is enough.

This should explain why my Grade 6 students have a lot of potential in writing.

Bloody hell, who will not be able to write their own fiction if they read Wattpad every single day?

I would like to see their project submissions later.

Annoying people, inner conflicts and whatnot.

Whatever. You may call me as “robotic” or “insensitive”, but I do not care.

I am here to deliver my goods.


I take those words as a very good compliment.

Speaking of which, I do not want to be sick or lethargic or tired or whatever.

I do not want to spend more than seven hours sleeping.

All I want to do is to be able to do whatever write-ups I can write.

I want to be able to read all the books that I want.

I want to be with people that I cherish.

Luckily, half of the things that I stated above have come true – except for the times that I become sick, of course.

I don’t like being sick. However, I guess I’ll have to deal with it every now and then.

I am quite happy that I have started to adjust to the routine of the school.

I am also happy that people are there to help me, to give me advice.

How I wish they also get to tell me their concerns directly though.

Sure, it rubs off my self-pride at times. But I need some stern advice too, no?

I may not become the best teacher around, but I will make sure that I will be able to do my job in the best way possible.


Thoughts on Random Stuff 5

I know for a fact that I am an extremely competitive person.

Sure, I have learned to be graceful in defeat and I have always been someone with good sportsmanship.

However, inside me, every loss sores me a lot. Every loss is a pain in the neck.

I do not like losing when I knew that I could have done it in a better way. However, when I know that I was bound to lose anyway and I was able to put up a good fight, then I guess I can be happy with that.

Also, if I know that I did everything and that I can lose without regrets (plus I can bounce back easily from it), then it does not really matter that much.

Going down is not everything.

It is when you stop standing up – it is when you give up chasing your dream – that is the time you lose.

In reality, you would not even know whether it will end up with you at the top of the world or not.

Is being at the top of the world important?

Personally, the answer is no, though being up there is a powerful bonus.

At least, you have had the chance to try everything, no?

It is better than having to deal with the fact that you have never tried it.

I think I have developed my self-pride as a result of my high school days. Do not get me wrong; I try to be a humble person and I do not like to boast about my achievements and accomplishments. Ever.

The thing about me is that I do not accept criticism gracefully at times – well, the logic is this that I do not criticize others, so why should they? And do it in a scathing manner?

Well, I have learned to think that people get what they deserve no matter what happens and that everything is only earned through merit and hard work.

I have also learned to think that I SHOULD NOT CARE ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE in ALL ASPECTS. Heck, why should I care if THEY CONSIDER YOU AS AN ENEMY, no?

No wonder I was socially awkward towards many people until the third year of college.

I want it out.

But sometimes, I feel that I need it too. I do not want to be perceived as spineless, as someone who cannot even stand behind his decisions or principles.

Well, I guess I should find a way to balance it and to make it into a sort of strength.

I love technology.

I love everything that has to do with it.

But sometimes, I find it hard to control myself. I need to use a lot of my willpower to tell myself not to look at my phone when other people are around.

Oh well, that is life I guess. Welcome to Generation Y.

Where acquaintances are abound and only few you can call friends.

Real ones at that.

I hate love stories.


Because they never come true.

Because they never reflect reality.

Because they never reflect all the shit that a person has to endure in order to just get a fighting chance, let alone get that weird “yes.”

And what happens after the “yes”? Do people think it is easy?

The only reason why love is worth the pain in the first place is that you see the other person happy and contented with your acts and with your presence.

On an intellectual level, that means making that significant other develop into a better person.

Oh well.

Yes, people want love.

But some people are just too scared. Some people complain at the first sight of a shadow.

If you do not want to sign up for this, then never think of it in the first place!

Millennials. Well, this generation is hungry for love.

If you only know the value of it, then you will never speak of it as lightly.

On a personal note though, I wonder when my own journey will end.

Sometimes, it is full of obstacles and hardships. Sometimes, you get rejected. Sometimes, you just do not get it, due to time, place, circumstance…And sometimes, you just have to blindfold yourself and hope that there’s a pack of hay waiting to catch you when you jump off the cliff that is called destiny.

It is painful, yes. It sure is.

But at least, you try, no? At least you became happy for a while, no? And who knows what can happen next?

For now, I’ll make my stand: To hell with all those love stories and cheesy texts. It’s too corny for my taste!

Maybe the reason that I am never disappointed about my life is because I have always been realistic about things.

Well, I am quite happy with where I am right now.

But there is always room for improvement, both in and out.

I just want to be a normal person who delivers his stuff and gives something to society.

Thoughts on Random Stuff 4

I lost my voice due to the fact that two of my classes became extremely unruly. I had to go on beast mode, shout at them and try to put some sanity into them. I already had fever and I knew that the seasonal flu has just picked me at the best possible moment.

Yikes. Now, I’m still contemplating if I will shout once again or not.

Heck, I’ll be damned!

One of my students asked me a question about past tense on my English as a Second Language (ESL) class. She’s a really smart, studious and competitive student – and what’s the best thing about her is that she asks questions only when absolutely needed.

Bloody hell, grammar was never my strongest point in my English language arsenal. Sure, I can write well that some people tag me as a wunderkind and I can read fast without having much trouble comprehending stuff…but the mechanics of the English always left me wanting to have a Gatorade energy drink afterwards.

I answered her question calmly. What she did not know was that I was not sure about it.

Luckily, the answer that I gave was the correct one.

If she checked the Net at home and (if I gave her the wrong answer…then oops!)

So much for graduating from the world’s 85th best university.

Once you start teaching, throw all those lesson plans out of the window. You have to go back to square one.

I am still consolidating my teaching skills…and it has been already eight weeks since classes started!

It is pretty much obvious how a new teacher acts in comparison to the old ones.

It is comparing someone who is in the silver bracket with someone fighting 3 or 4 brackets above.

That’s how far it is.

I enjoy teaching children, mainly because you can see that they are learning something.

Or at least pretend that they have learned something.

Speaking of which, one of my colleagues asked a student what writing meabs.

The reply was:

“Writing is a mixture of Writing, Reading, ESL and Language Arts.”

Oh my God.

Should I be happy about this or should I laugh at this?

No idea basically, but at least, this shows that these students do indeed learn something in class.

Then, there’s a letter from a certain someone who wanted to give something for my birthday.

It was supposed to be a postcard, but well, any upgrades and upsizes are welcome!


Address denied. Return to sender.

Oh well. No wonder why it is called snail mail.

I guess I just have to wait for that one.

At least I get to have some little gifts for my birthday!

That includes postcards, a couple of ballers and ice cream!

Rock and roll to the world! Woohoo!

I don’t get to write anything for a week.

I miss it badly, but at the same time, it is refreshing because you are reminded that you should have breaks for a while.

However, I do not believe that one.

If you want to become a very good writer, then you should spend your time and effort in order to be able to harness your full potential.

Otherwise, it will just be left as it is: wasted potential.

This also goes for other things in life.

Thoughts On Random Stuff 3

Today, I am sick.

And yes, even though I was sick, I did not want to be absent for class.

Luckily, I did not need to be absent from class as I was able to mitigate my fever with a couple of tablets.

On the other hand, it is weird enough that I did get sick just two days after my birthday (DISCLAIMER: I’ve had sore throat for a couple of days now, but it was nothing major compared to this.)

Well, at least I started to feel better as the day went through.

My birthday was fun.

That is all that I could say. I have celebrated my birthday for two days, first on the 27th with my family at a restaurant…then on the 28th with pizzas, fruit salad and ice cream!

It was really great!


Me and my friends. 'Nuff said!
Me and my friends. ‘Nuff said!

Then, of course, I just get to do what I wanted for the day.

Except for my articles, of course.

I was not able to write a single one for this week!

I need to write something and I need to do it today!

I do not want to sound like a douchebag!

I need to write more…

But sometimes, I just get extremely tired that I sometimes do not have the time to write anymore.


Good luck and have fun!

My Turkish Poem Collection


Bir gün daha geçti
Sanki hiçbir şey olmamış gibiydi
Ama onca olaylar oldu
Ve içerdeki sesler bir şeyler söylüyördü

Yine bir yil geçti
Sanki hiçbir yerde göstermiyordu
Ama bilenler bilir ki
Bu hayat yolculuk içerisinde ne olup bittigini

Yorgunum, bitkinim, belki de bazen yalnizim
Ama hiç umrunda değilim
Çünkü eski hayallerdeki yildizlarin ötesine kadar gösterilen mesafeler
Artik yavaş yavaş onlari elde ediyorum

Böyle işte…
Hayallerin peşinde koşan bir kişinin garip hikayesi…
Belki de zor, belki de soğuk

Ama bunun neticesinde
Herşey daha değerli olur.


Dört buçuk sene olmuştu
Artık elveda zamanı gelmişti
Ve hayatta yürümeye devam ediyoruz
Ne kadar belirsiz da olsa
Ne kadar mekan değiştirirsek

Bundan sonra da
Esaretten özgürlüğe kavuşuyoruz
Başka bir hayat
Kapıda dayanıyor

Zor da olsa
Bazı şeyler bırakmam gerekiyor

Ama ne güzel günler oldu
Ama ne renkli hatıralar oldu

Şimdi herşey geriye bırakacağım
Ve yeni bir gökyüzünde
Köprüleri açacağım

Şimdi hoşçakal diyoruz
Ama kim ne bilir
Gelecek nasıl bir şekilde olacak
Değil mi?

Sometimes, I wonder why I suck at writing poems in English.

Whatever, at least I know that I can do something about it in Turkish!

I got to say that I have learned a lot of things…

Letters from Nowhere

Dear F.,

How is everything? Hope you are fine down there. I hope that you are enjoying your holiday with your family.

You know today, I am just sitting on my couch, drinking some Gatorade and eating some chips. I am still trying to cope up with my new life.

I am very happy to tell you that I am now one of the best writers in my field. I have done a lot of great work and many people have started noticing me and giving me positive feedback. For me, it is one of the most wonderful things that I can reach as a person.

As Stephen King mentioned in his famous memoir, On Writing:

Writing isn’t about making money, getting famous, getting dates, getting laid, or making friends. In the end, it’s about enriching the lives of those who will read your work, and enriching your own life, as well. It’s about getting up, getting well, and getting over. Getting happy, okay? Getting happy.

It is amazing, meeting new people and going new places. I never thought that I will be able to do this at a young age…though I still wish to be able to go abroad, but still, hey, you know, you should learn to be contented with what you get, you know?

But let me tell something about it.

Whenever I ask my editor about getting another writer for my beat, you know what he says?

Go try to find someone who is as good as you…or at least someone who can keep up with you.

Apparently, being at the top of your field also has its own not-so-rosy sides. But it is fine, that is part of the process, you know.

Sometimes, I get sad when I see the teams from the other groups being able to plan things together and do things together – then whenever I tell them that I am quite jealous of them, Marcus, the head social media guy tells me:

“Hey, you know, you are the absolute king of your field. You should be happy about that?”, said Marcus. I replied:

“What’s the happy part about that when you don’t get to share the fun?”

That is the truth. Yeah.

It is tiring sometimes.

But I think that I will be happy, because I am here!

Just pray that I’ll continue to be a kind person.

Say my regards to your loved ones!



Thoughts On Random Stuff 2

Sometimes, I feel that the stars are set up too high for me.

Sometimes, I feel that they are extremely unreachable.

Sometimes, I feel that I am fighting for a lost cause.

But maybe it is because it is not my time yet.

Maybe, maybe, maybe.

But do not forget this:

Wanting something does not mean you are entitled to it.”

I was wondering if I have started to hurt some people already by presenting a stern face, especially the ones who are not accustomed to me being emotionless and cold.

I think that now is the right time to stop that.

Okay, burning a bridge or two feels good and makes you less stressed about everything, but would you want to destroy everything? Is it worth it?

Think harder Earl and take a breather.

Let alone being an educator, teaching in itself is quite a challenging task. You know very well that you want the students to learn that edge to get through their necessary assessments and to help them gain better skills, but what one should do when one has students who disrupt the class every now and then?

So far, my first tests have shown that the students have learnt something despite me not putting a very systematic twist on my teaching. Though some of them could not understand my directions, I think that it would be fine.

My first full week of teaching starts tomorrow. We always had 4-day weeks and I think that I have learnt one lesson from the past three weeks that I have been teaching:

Do lessons and quizzes long before the day of the lesson.

On the other side, here I am, trying to learn as many things as I can when it comes to dealing with different types of people.

I am doing my best in order to get my chin up, to stand tall, and to be able to become a team-oriented person and not be a prima donna.

At least, thankfully, I know now where I stand and I know which aspects of my life I should improve.

With the help of my family and friends, I believe everything is possible.

It is fun meeting the best fighters in the world at your backyard.

Just like that. This is how they say it in the street:

Bi**h please. LOL.

Some music to top it up:

I think that I should eat lots of Japanese food! They taste real good! Yay!

Thoughts On Random Stuff 1

Now, I understand clearly why people want to be extremely successful early on in life.

It is a quantifiable way of being able to gauge one’s value here on this beautiful place called Earth.

People may never know this, but the feeling of success is a very potent drug that leaves you extremely high.

It is extremely addicting and it is extremely dangerous at the same time.

In my first two weeks of teaching (our of forty weeks or so), I immediately counted double-digit numbers of bullying cases and I said certain names about thirty times. I felt sad for the children…well, why do they have to see the ugly side of these things early on in life?

Anyways, they will have their first quizzes this week. Let us see what happens.

As far as my teaching career is concerned, I will do my best while I am still at it.

Everyone knows that it is not my final calling, anyway (and that it is just another adventure.)

In the past, I really wanted to become successful early in life. I wanted to be able to tell myself that “hey, I was able to contribute something to society” and “that I was able to leave a mark in life.”

Quite unsurprisingly, the marks that I left in this world were mostly related to my writing stuff.

I still want to be able to do just that. I want to be able to showcase my skills to the world and I still want to be able to have my dreams come true.

This time around, there will be no blind dreaming. Everything will be planned and calculated.

I will work hard, I know. But I will make sure that I will be able to deliver very good stuff.

I know what I am capable of and I have showcased a good part of it already.

I know I can. Yes, I can.

Electronic sports gave me another shot at life, another avenue to express my creativity and to create more dreams. It allowed me to meet many people, to go places, to see stuff and to basically do things that I have never thought of doing before.

Most of all, it allowed me to synchronize two interests together into a single package: I love games and I love writing at the same time and this very place that I am in gave me the chance to do them together.

What is more, I get to do it with the people that I am comfortable with and I can clearly see that the stuff that I do are part of a change, a part of an ideal.

I feel thankful and lucky that I am a part of this thing, just at the right place and the right time.

Even if people can’t make their minds about it, I won’t give a damn. I’ll continue to make ways.

Because I know now that I have a future here.

Yes, I do.

People Do Not Say This, But Sometimes They Do

One day, some friends decided to talk about the things that are happening around them.

“You see, I am getting tired of those people who keep on breaking their promises.”

“Why? They haven’t gave the money back to you? And are you having some other problems?”

“No. It has been months. On another note, here I am, failing again in an endeavor that I was pursuing. Well, for f*ck’s sake, I have every reason to rail on those people and about my shit on Facebook and other places. You know, saying things like ‘they are getting on my nerves and stuff.'”

“Will railing them on social media help solve your problem?”

“Nope. But I guess someone will listen.”

“True. Guess you need some sympathy.”

“You know that sometimes, I get tired of being kind and stuff. I mean, what the f*ck?”

“You do not need to be kind and good, if you do not anymore want it. Just deliver the goods and you are good to go, but do not be unkind just because of the stuff that is happening to you.”

“You see that it ain’t working. If being unkind is the way to fix it, then that is the way to go for me!”

“Do not do this. You are better than this. You are a strong guy, bro!”

“What the f*ck? What did I get from being strong?”


“Point me out the good things that I have gotten from being strong and maybe I will believe you.”

The room fell into silence as the frustrated guy has the following thoughts running into his mind:

Sometimes, I want to become a different person. I do not want anymore to be kind, is that even worth something? Sometimes, I want to stop believing; why should I when I do not see any good out of it? Why should I go through the hard way when I can get things the other way around? Why should I believe when there is no good end in sight?

The only thing that keeps me sane is the possibility of having a colorful future. A part of me wants to believe and…and…I do not know what to say.

Then, another friend chimed in and said:

“Maybe there is something better for you-”

“Something better, heck, people say that and look at what we get!”

Then the guy just went out of the room and threw a pen in frustration towards the wall. The other guys just sat there, bewildered at a loss for words.

On Life

Sometimes, things just don’t happen as you wish them to be.

It can be extremely frustrating and toxic.

You may even ask, “Why did all of these things happen to me? What did I do wrong? Why did I deserve this?”

But then if one realizes that there are certain realities behind it, then it is easier to accept the fact that it did not turn out the way you wanted it to.

Firstly, maybe by letting go and by moving on, the door to a better, brighter one opens up for you. Maybe it seems a far-fetched concept, but then, why it should not happen in the future?

Secondly, maybe it is just a way to be reminded that nothing lasts forever and that things must be cherished while they are still in one’s hands.

Finally, who knows what destiny and life may bring, no? After all, life is an unpredictable thing.

The possibilities are endless…