Music track: Radiohead – Idioteque
Food: All sorts of stuff, currently drinking iced tea and a chocolate bar that I did not eat yesterday.
Weather: Typical spring, whatever.
Well, apparently, the weather outside is amazing, with lush trees fully clothed in their greens and blooms as well as the light spring breeze cooling off heads. Coupled with a crystal-blue sky, it looks as if it beckons everyone to break the sky.
Within the space of five months and six days, I broke the sky. In fact, I’ve just finished my book (or at least, a workable draft of it which does not a lot of unwieldy grammar, I hope) yesterday, May 5, 2015. It seems that a breakthrough in my writing life is accompanied by an easily memorized date (first was 9/9/13, now it is 5/5/15). Looking back, it has been twenty months between these two dates!
If anyone has looked at the title, I’d bet you wondered why it is still a walk in “April Spring” when the date clearly states that it is already May 6, 2015 (or May 5, depending on which part of the planet you are living, anyway.)
I’ll be honest, I am currently extremely dumbfounded at the way things have unfolded around me, as well as certain facts that I need to digest. Leaving Turkey is the easiest part of it actually – not to mention that one week, you could be up there breaking the limits that the sky imposes…and fall extremely hard the following week! Life is never perfect and that is a fact, but hey, that kind of ride is as bumpy as hell!
Take today as an example: Besides this blog post, I have just written two or three articles for eSports Inquirer (and this does not include the crazy stuff that I write in my notebook, which ranges from the murkily dark to the extremely out-of-this-world…things.) And I’m doing all of these while at school (and on top of that, after just finishing a long, long text!)
The thing is, well, there is no throwing the towel now, because I can’t afford not to see my aspirations come to light. I am no stranger to strange territory, mass rejection and endless apathy – hell, I got all of them at one point in my life altogether, so I feel that I can withstand whatever setbacks and obstacles that may come my way this time around.
I really hope that I can do this, because right now, even though it may seem not too obvious to me, I feel that I have just stepped on another frontier.
It is not about winning per se (that is what sociopaths do anyway, as stated in “The Sociopath Next Door”); I’d like to believe it is about the things that I might learn along the way.
Damn, I just hope that I can hold on to my sanity as the bullet train goes full speed…and get my repairs ready when I derail along the way!
Spring seems to be a lie at times. The day that you expect awesome weather is actually laden with hail, snow and torrents at times.
But that is the nature of spring, I guess, hiding its wonderful colors under a gray-and-white blanket.
Then, summer maybe?
And summer is always great to have as an ally on one’s arsenal of tricks.
Spring is beautiful. But I want to see summer more because it is endless sun and light.
Because I am pretty sure that summer represents the zenith of everything.
I guess I just have to be patient and to deal with whatever twists life has to offer..and to make the best out of the time that remains for me here in this land some 16,000 kilometers away.
Maybe it is the end of a song that I wish that will never end.
But maybe it is also the start of another, better one.
Yeah, that is what I hope for.
And to answer the question why it is still an “April Spring”:
I am trapped in time at the moment. That is how it feels right now.
Welcome to real life, I guess!
The weather now does not burn my eyes or freeze my soul, unlike the past two days.
Maybe it is a sign of good things to come.
Yeah, summer appears after spring…
A great summer.
I guess I’ll just have to believe in it and work!